Without loving relationships, humans fail to flourish, even if all of their other basic needs are met.
Love is deeply biological.
It pervades every aspect of our lives and has inspired countless works of art.
Love also has a profound effect on our mental and physical state
The above are from The biochemistry of love: an oxytocin hypothesis published by The European Molecular Biology Organization.
With Valentine’s day coming up I’d like to share a wonderful resource for you to improve your loving relationships so you can truly flourish and see improvements in your mental and physical states.
It’s a book called The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman, director of Marriage and Family Consultants.
This fabulous book will help you
single out your primary love language, what it means, and how you can use it to connect with your loved one with intimacy and fulfillment
And the great thing is that when you have your partner (and loved ones) do it too it will
benefit your partner [and loved ones] to know your primary love language in order to best express affection for you in ways that you interpret as love.
When I first heard what the 5 love languages were – Physical Touch, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts – I intuitively knew what my top ones would be. But it was still so helpful to do the 5 love languages online profile and read the book to get a really good understanding of it all! (If you’d prefer not to do the online quiz there is also one in the book itself)
As it says on the site:
The 5 Love Languages profile will give you a thorough analysis of your emotional communication preference.
The payoff of speaking each other’s love language is a greater sense of connection. This translates into better communication, increased understanding, and, ultimately, improved romance.
And, if I may add, fabulous mental and physical health!
In case you’re wondering about me, my top two are Physical Touch and Quality Time with Words of Affirmation a close third. Receiving Gifts was a zero for me!
I have to admit that learning that some people also don’t like Receiving Gifts was quite a relief to me. I’ve never been a gift person and always felt like it was kind of weird. Everyone likes getting gifts! Why don’t I? But now I know! I’ll take (and give) a big hug or spend quality time with Brad or my mom or sister before a gift!
Gary Chapman has written a number of books on the same topic but aimed at different audiences: for children, teens and even a one for the workplace. The book for the workplace is called The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. I received a copy of this book at a recent business event and we all did the quiz. I was so impressed that I plan to use the quiz with folks that I work with so I can to show appreciation to my colleagues/team in ways that are meaningful to them.
Do let us know your love languages from highest to lowest ranking. And have your partner and loved ones do it too.
My love language is physical touch and closeness and so is my dh of 48 years–very unusual for both of us to have the same as that doesn’t usually happen with spouses. We teach both marriage and parenting classes and use this wonderful principle in all of them!
I really appreciate your natural approach to health. Your Anxiety Summit I was the first summit I ever heard–missed the first portion, but really enjoyed and learned much from it/you Trudy. Thank you!
Hi Karen
How wonderful that you both have physical touch as your love language! I’d love to have you share a link to where folks can find out more about your marriage and parenting classes – they sound lovely!
Thanks for your very kind words – I’m so pleased you enjoyed the 2nd half of The Anxiety Summit! In case you’re not aware you can still purchase audios and/or transcripts of both season1 and season 2 at http://www.theanxietysummit.com
Trudy
Fabulous post honoring a great day. I LOVE this book! I also really like the 5 love languages of kids book. It gave me great insight as a mom. My love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with physical touch right there, too. I love how you, once again, reaffirmed the importance of the balance of mental and physical well-being.
Hi Tandy
Thanks for sharing your love languages – we’re very similar. I love that the kids version of the book gave you great insight as a mom. I’d like to get a copy for my mom but, like me, she’s not a gift person! I think I’ll just tell her about it instead and let her decide.
Trudy
This is great! Thanks for pointing out the connection between understanding the connection between we see as supportive and affirmative and our mental well being.
Trudy,
This is a wonderful book!
Everyone should experience the five love Languages.
I got to see Dr. Chapman in person after reading the book. The 5 love languages is one of the most translated books in the world. It would seem love is a universal language.
How fabulous that you got to see Dr.Chapman! I didn’t know his book is one of the most translated books in the world – wow!
Great find Trudy! I’m with you on the gifts – my choice would be quality time and acts of service.
Yeah to quality time and acts of service!